does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
