: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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