school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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