I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
