At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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