508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
