Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(901): View more from Tennessee

I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?

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