Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
