She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
