So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.