omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.