I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
