i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!