So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.