I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.