lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
