I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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