Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
