Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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