Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
