Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
