do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
