I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
