He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
