fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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