Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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