I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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