Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
