Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
