I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
