doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
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So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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