but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
