i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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