Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
