I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
