My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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