I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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