Operation Purity has been aborted
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
