He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
