I think I am morally bankrupt
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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