My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
