Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
