so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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