was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
