dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
