its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
