I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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