you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
