Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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