he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize