"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this will be a night to untag.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
