ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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