Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
