My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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