i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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