yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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