Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
