i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
