Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
