I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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