My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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