you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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