I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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